26

26 years old.

Aiskk... it sounds so old.

The birthday was OK. Nothing fancy. Simple and nice.

Anyhow, i felt this weird mix feeling inside.

Is he? Is he not? Am i? Am i not? What should i do? What should i say? What i should NOT say?
Can i? Can't i?

How i wish we can have some guides or at least a borderline. At least i know where our boundaries is. It's tiring sometimes. To play this 'i know,you know it' game.

Who am i kidding here? None other than moui, myself!

The little simple thing

It's just a simple thing. But we will remember it forever and ever.

Such as, eating 'bread story' at low yatt staircase, while waiting for the movie to start. And it's raining.

Maybe it means nothing to other people.

But for me, it just perfect.

Just a perfect moment.

Pampered

Finally.. blogging from the comfort of my own home. Connected to streamyx broadband already.

My 'lil sis' was here this evening. And it was 5 years back all over again. Just talking and laughing and gossiping and stuff. It was fun. Damn i miss those days.

Oh, i came out with a resolution. Improve my appearance (Read: 'Self grooming'). Actually, already started since last Ramadhan. Just basic stuff. You know, try to stick with this regime: with cleanse, tone and mosturize for the skin (at least twice a day. yeah.. i was very lazy to put on the moisturizer before) And it does show effects. My skin condition is slightly improving. I mean, not up to the level of achieving porcelein skin effect. Still, the scars reducing, so does the pimples and zit, not as horrible as before. Even my colleague mention "Have you been to facial treatment". Haha. It's just so satisfying.

But still cannot get rid of these panda eyes and sagging eye bags. Note to self: to buy cucumber and tomatoes next time in Tesco. To put on my eyes every night. So that these beautiful eyes of mine will be more sparkling. :P

During fasting month, i manage to lose 4kg. But after the Eid, gain 2 kg. Damn. Anyway, must strive to lose another 5kg. Ganbattene!! Ok, after this open house season, must start my training session. After all, it's been a while since the last time I put on my running shoes.

So, wait for a new beautiful me(it will be yearssss from now, but still? :D)

It was

It was my 25th birthday eve. Just got back from a disappointing 'birthday dinner' with a friend (which actually turn out to be a good lesson of life: always expect the worst)

And just to heal a broken heart, log on to a chat room. And there he was, a gentleman with good usage of words, a sense of humour.. and seems interesting.

So, we exchanged number. And the rest is history.

A year passed.

My 26th birthday is approaching. The guy? He's still around. Somewhere. Missing me. Haha.

But he did say something about early 'birthday plan'. Hmm.. but as i said before, always expect the worst.. eh.

Hate

Am hating this feeling.

And just in time when I started to feel the excitement of 'Eid?

Arghh, this sucks big time.

Enough is enough?

How much is enough? We never can have the answer.

People will never satisfied. That's a fact.

When we fulfilled all our needs, we still have our wants.

Those things that we want are not necessary what we need, right?

What ever it is, we just have to accept it, as it is.

Afraid

Do you know what kind of experience I had?

What kind of monster I encountered?

What kind of nightmares I dreamt?

No, you don't. Coz I never share.

Coz I'm afraid to share.

First Night

First night at the new home. No TV. No PC. Luckily my Nokia 7270 is equipped with FM radio function. At least there's some source of entertainment.

Unpack those boxes. Rearrange everything. Threw away all the unnecessaries. Fuuhh.. it's nearly 2 a.m when I'm done. Now can only I call this place as 'my loft'.

Before went to bed, I performed the 'hajat' prayer. Asking from God so that everything is safe in this new home. Asking for my family's and friends' happiness.

And without I realize, tears were streaming down my face. I felt so timid myself.

All these while, I was having fun. Doing all the 'lagha' things. And i questioning why all the bad things happened to me?

It's time for me to wake up. To face the real world. To be a better person. A better daughter. Better friend.

After all, it's Ramadhan. The Holy month.

And today I woke up with a smile on my face. I feel rejunevated at the office. It's like breathing in a fresh air.

1st Ramadhan

It's the 1st day of Ramadhan. No wonder everyone in the office seems so quiet and it's like they're doing the work in slow motion. :P~

For 'sahur' this morning I had a slice of bread + hot chocolate + plain water. And so far, it's already 3.30 pm and I still can manage the hunger. 3 and half hour more for 'ifthar', so it will be OK i guess.

Still no idea on what to have for 'ifthar'. Was thinking of cooking fried rice. But I just remember that I've already sent the stove to the new house. Maybe I just grab some food on my way home from the office. In this fasting month, we're allowed to go back as early as 4.30 pm, but the traffic jam surely will be massive at that hour. By the time arrive home, it will be already 6 pm. Just on time for 'ifthar'.

Oh, I called my mom just now. Just to check on everything's back home. But, as usual, she asked 'the' questions. Who? When? Come on, when the time come, it'll come.

But i guess, it's hard to make others understand, when in the first place, it's also hard to understand by myself.

We have to just wait and see.