When the time comes

"You know what, I've been rehearsing... every sentences, every words. so that, everything will come out just rite when the time comes. but.. "

"you're not able to proceed?"

"Yeah"

"You're not ready. That's why"

"I'm afraid. I don't want to take the risk. Everything is just fine the way it is now."

"Really? Just fine is not enough my dear. You deserve more. And you know it"

Communication

They said, communication is very important in a relationship.

But if there's no relationship to begin with, how to communicate?

Crash

Grey's Anatomy: Ep 3.10 -Crash Into Me, Part II

Meredith: I think it's better to have someone, even if it hurts, even if it is the most painful thing you have done, even if it's the most painful thing you've ever had to do. I think it's better to have someone.

Two is better than one, aight?

Am not

I don't want to be appeared as weak. I don't like being weak.
I'm too ego to admit that I'm weak. Coz I'm not!

But i like being pampered.

Can i still be pampered without being treated as weak?

Gone

Gone were the days when cute e-cards were sent wishing 'get well soon' when i'm down with flu or even it just a lil migraine.

Gone were the days when phone calls and smses were made tens of times a day just to check how i've been; whether i've take the medication, or having my dinner.

Gone were the days when i can be as 'spoiled brat' and 'mengada-nganda' as possible but still be pampered and treated like a princess.

*sigh*

Pardon me. I'm just high on drugs.

Expectation

That's why I'm reluctant to spill everything out. To explain everything.

Because I always have this high expectation.

So, when the response that I received is not up to what I expected, I felt frustrated.

*sigh*

The love

It seems like most blogs i visited these days are full with mushy lovey dovey stuffs.
A wife dedicated one full entry for her husband. A fiancee wrote a love letter to her fiance. A girlfriend explained how her sweet boyfriend gave a surprise birthday party. And the stories continue...

Somehow, there's one lil part in myself that want to join the crowd. Just to feel the excitement. Once again.

I'm not saying that I'm not happy with current situation. I am. Great companion. Great friends. Still, there's something missing. The spark. The excitement. Feeling of the blood rushing to my face upon hearing those sweet words. The surprise element. The love.

I guess I'm ready to move on one step further. But somehow deep inside, I'm stuck.